youngmanhattanite:

92y:

If you missed Tracy Morgan and Hannibal Buress last night at 92Y, Grantland has highlights:

On the (very important) question of white people using the N-word at karaoke.
Buress: “You can’t pick a song that’s [N-word] heavy. Like, Kanye’s ‘All of the Lights’ is OK. But YG’s ‘My N—a’ you should avoid.”
Morgan: “When you drinking at the karaoke spot, know how many [N-Words] are in the song.”
On the Brooklyn Nets
Morgan: “If you’re a Nets, Mets, or Jets fan, you probably have low self-esteem.”
On Buress writing for 30 Rock
Morgan: “It was just you and a sea of white dudes.”
Buress: “We had an Indian dude.”
On the 92nd Street Y
Morgan: “I didn’t even know this shit was here! Is this the Upper East Side or what? This is where the good cocaine is.”
On side businesses
Buress: “I want to open a Jamba Juice.”
On performing for white audiences
Morgan: “That’s why I wear a watch. Because if white people see me wearing a watch they feel like they can trust me.”

Read more.

The good cocaine is at the McDonald’s below the J/M/Z train at Marcy Ave.

tastefullyoffensive:

image

Hue Jackman

at a pool party

vayena:

"hey bukowski no offense but why dont you take your shirt off in the pool"
"why do we run from the rain but soak in tubs full of water"
"aight take it easy man"


what she says: i'm fine
what she means: Take a look at this. That right there is the mail. Now let’s talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac? I’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, OK? “Pepe Silvia,” this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe’s mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, “I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy’s goddamn hands! Otherwise, he’s never going to get it and he’s going to keep coming back down here.” So I go up to Pepe’s office and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out?! There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, “Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper.” There’s no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe! All right. So I start marchin’ my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say, “CAAAAROL! CAAROOOLLLL! I gotta talk to you about Pepe.” And when I open the door what do I find? There’s not a single goddamn desk in that office! There…is…no…Carol in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.
groovywhitekid:

great
She’s the kind of girl a guy meets when he’s too young, and he fucks up because there’s too much living to do. But later he realizes she’s perfect.